Response Post: Fathers as Narcissistic Abusers

ABOUT A FATHER:

This is a response to the Al Saddiq post on our official Facebook  page.   So, just as a professional author and memoir person, we do more documentaries and publish them online with whff.tv. I must try and only make one point at a time instead of three or four points in a post. Therefore, let me just address something from the Facebook post. And that is: first, during the marriage is when I had two suicide attempts.  With characters like 1) lacking empathy 2) requiring excessive admiration 3) emphasis on envy, interpersonally exploitative behavior, 4) senses of entitlement, 5) behaving in an arrogant manner, 6) grandiose, 7) expecting special treatment and constant 8) attention-seeking: I cannot be in a healthy space.  Wont be in a healthy space. Moreover, I can in no way imagine someone already addressing mental and emotional upbringing PRESENTLY married to a person with these distressing qualities. (I’ll get into that in a whole series at a different time.)

Nonetheless, Al Saddiq mentioned in his social media post that his father emotionally abused his mother. And because of his father’s narcissism, he was abused. Al Saddiq was able to draw from what he witnessed as a child, analyze his mother’s ‘mothering’ and assess the situation.  FACTS!!

Well documented research shows Narcissistic/emotionally abusive fathers tend to also 1) fight for custody try to continue control over after divorce, 2) try and acquire full custody of the kids and 3) are just regular normal assholes on visitation. A normal mother could then probably deal with these tactics as they were used to dealing with them in the marriage: me myself – it caused a grave downfall.  What an elephant in the room!! What a great target for a narcissist to hide behind.  Now back to Al Saddiq

Additionally, confusion and failed communication between parents and rules and regulations of parenting.  So, the point is that my ex-husband (not my current husband -my current husband is such an advocate of me telling my story, and for several reasons that I won’t mention this is the time) ex-husband is just an emotional abuser that led to two suicide attempts from a person that was already struggling with judgement and corrective medication. Here's the point as I create similarities with Al Saddiq’s mother’s abuse versus my own and additionally himself and addressing my children:

As a black man: Al Saddiq was able to see the nuance and the failure of his father passed his relationship with his mom. He was able to look at the consequences of a failed father .  He was able to rise above the “adult-tension-in-the-room” between exes and see who was at fault.

 

And what I am stating to you, as the reader, is it doesn’t matter what his father had to say; HE knew the truth. FACTS!!!  Now what makes onlooking adults so damn ignorant???

RESOURCE:  Common narcissistic traits in fathers include having an over-inflated ego, always needing to be right, and possessing an unearned or false sense of entitlement. Few of us feel that our fathers did everything right as they raised us. However, being raised by a narcissistic father goes beyond these bounds.

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